Will I ever get used to the restaurants here? by Xochiquetzali Aguirre

 It’s obvious that when I arrived in Sevilla, I would enter in the world of Tapas. You know the place where you could either sit or stand, and always share food from the same plate with good company. But I always wondered, will I ever go to a restaurant in Sevilla that will remind me of home where I order something and it’s all for me and not meant to be shared? I mean there is always those fast food restaurants but I’m not talking about those, I meant like a nice restaurant, and so far the answer has been no. I think that has been one of the most different things I’ve experienced, or for example when you go into a restaurant in America you go in the door and you wait to be seated then five minutes later a waiter comes and gives you a menu and you right away order a drink then right away you order your food, then the food comes out and five minutes later the waiter comes to ask how everything is going you say well and they move on and then the check they just bring it to you and you pay when you are ready. Here you enter a restaurant and you sit where ever you want, then wait for a waiter to notice you, this can take anywhere from a minute to 30 minutes in my case… then they ask you for your order drink and tapas, then after they bring you your drink and then later on your tapas, I should mention they never come to ask how you are doing, they just let you be. Then to get the check, that’s a whole other story, you have to get try to get the attention of the waiter again who is always way too busy with all the other customers who he barely noticed came in and getting their drinks and tapas. But although it all seem very different yes, I feel like I have gotten use to the restaurants here, it’s going to be difficult going back home and having waiters come to see how you are doing every five minutes and ten giving you the check when you aren’t even ready, and making you feel rushed

Are children disrespectful to their elders?, By Xochiquetzali Aguirre

I am of Mexican decent but I am American. Since I am of Mexican decent I was raised with the idea that one cannot be disrespectful to their elders. I say this because since I live with a host mom (an elderly one) her grandchildren come to visit quiet often, she has nine grandchildren and five are sure to come every week to spend all day with her. and although I find that amazing and truly beautiful, the one thing that I don’t is the way they sometimes speak to her, coming from a Mexican American family I was taught that I must speak to my elders with all the respect in the world, but here I hear the children talk to their grandmas and I’m not sure if its normal or if these children are plain disrespectful.  Something I have noticed is that in general the Spaniards are more upfront with how they think, in America we would say that people have no filter, but I was raised to have a filter with the elders, these children don’t. For example the grandchildren and my host mom where playing a board game and a child called my host mom dumb. I was appalled, but my host mom didn’t care, I was in shock, How could they just bluntly say “Grandma you are dumb” I would never say that to anyone older than me. Later in the day my host mom accused one of them for making a mess and the grandchild responded with “you are crazy “in English it doesn’t sound so bad but in Spanish, I was like oh lord… is that acceptable here? I’ve also heard many children say things like this to their parents and grandparents in the metro. So it got me thinking is this acceptable here to say exactly what you want to any age range? Because in every situation I’ve never heard someone scold them for doing that.  I was really appalled when one of them told their grandma to shut up, because she was giving the youngest one clues on how to win, so they said “Grandma, shut up” Once again if I were to ever do that in America I would be scolded and personally it doesn’t feel right to say it. So I’m still wondering are these children disrespectful or is it okay to say things like that to your elders

The check

Today, for about what feels like the one-hundredth time, I accidently walked out of a cafe yet again without paying. I had just gotten out the door and started walking toward the metro stop when I realized. I let out a gasp that was followed by me frantically turning around and running back into the café. A worker who did not even seem to notice greeted me, and I then paid for my coffee, and returned to the metro stop. This is a situation that has happened to me more times than I would like to admit and, although I always realize and return to the café/restaurant to pay for what I consumed very shortly after I walk out, it brings a cultural difference between the United States and Spain to the surface. That cultural difference is the service. In the United States, the waiters in café’s, restaurants, etc. greet you and seat you right when you walk in, they usually bring you water right away and ask if you would like anything else to drink, and then when they bring you those drinks, they take your order, and then bring you your food as soon as they can. In addition to this, as you are eating your food, they check in with you usually 1 to 3 times asking how you are doing and if you need/would like anything else. They then bring you your check when you appear to be finished eating. In Spain, the service is very different. Usually I have to approach a waiter in the restaurants and ask them where I should sit, and usually it takes them a long time to come up to me and ask me what I would like to drink/eat. They then do not bring the check to you automatically, but instead, they wait until you ask them for it. This difference has taken a lot of getting used to, and at first it was frustrating to just want to order my food, or to just want to order the check, and have to wait until I can get someone’s attention. Apparently, I am still not used to it completely after all this time, because I still leave café’s without paying by accident because nobody bothers me for the check! I believe that this ties back into the food culture in Spain and the pace of life of Spain. In Spain, people, in general, are not in as much of a rush as people in America, and they take their time to complete most of their tasks, including eating. They also place a lot of importance on food, and they consider meals more than just times to eat, but instead times to socialize with other people and enjoy the company of others. 

The final blog post

Well, I figured to day is as good a day as any to write my final blog post, being that I have not felt so American in the 9 weeks that I have been here as I do today. And that is truly saying something considering people still stare and catcall at us as we walk down the streets. I have had so many people tell me I look Irish it's not even fun anymore to tell them I'm American. I am currently sitting at the Puerta de Jerez metro station with a venti pumpkin spice latte on ice in yoga pants and a tank top sweating bullets because even though it is October 28th it's still hot as all get out here. Needless to say I still don't feel entirely comfortable here. I have gotten used to life and the day to day way that this city and its people function. It has brought me some fun memories, like my friends and I having drinks and gummy candy at the Festival de Las Naciones, and some hard memories that I will never forget, like the crushing homesickness of knowing that I won't hug my family for close to four months or a man not taking I'm not interested for an answer. I know that my time here has changed me, even only halfway through, and I know it's not done with me yet. As I sit here in the shade and reflect I know that I am improving in my Spanish, if only marginally, and am satisfied with how my grant is progressing even if no one is emailing me back. These were my major contract goals going into this experience. But they are one single drop in the entire darn bucket of this experience. I have made more progress learning about myself here in 2 months than in 20 years in the states. The stares of others don't phase me as they did, I don't care if that man walking next to me thinks I am being too loud or that others on the metro laugh at my laugh. I will tell off that creep that catcalls me, or worse, makes my friends feel uncomfortable walking in their own neighborhood. 

And to that guy who openly stared at me as I was writing this yes I know I don't look like your friends, your family, your teachers, bosses, etc. I know my hair is strange and no one wears these pants. Thank you for staring and have a great day. 

Ariel in the Breeze

                Coming here in September I already knew that clothes dryers were not very common in Seville, because of the weather and the cost of electricity.  I had no problem with the idea; my family uses a clothesline for our clothing as well.  I knew it was a good thing because my jeans and yoga pants wouldn’t shrink and my clothes wouldn’t get stretched out.  But I didn’t know that I would experience a feeling like shock the first time I saw my clothing on that line out in our apartment’s courtyard. 

                I was sitting and doing homework or reading and went to open my window on a very hot day, only to see outside my room, a very full clothesline.  On this clothes line were at least three pairs of my underwear and my Little Mermaid nightshirt.  Fantastic.  I could not believe that now all of our neighbors knew what I wear when I am sleeping and what kind of underwear I prefer.  I could not figure out why this was so shocking.  I had been putting my clothing on a line for years and never felt this before. 

                I think maybe I felt this way because at home it’s no one’s business what I wear when I want to be comfortable, or what my panties look like, because they are the most personal items of clothing that a person owns.  At home my clothes are on a private clothesline that is shared by my family.  Here, in our apartment complex, each floor has a separate clothesline hanging in a shared courtyard, where everyone including me, hangs our clothing.  Now everyone knows that a twenty year old woman, who wears mostly black, has bright purple underwear and an Ariel and Flounder nightshirt.  There is no true idea of private here, and not necessarily in a bad way.  Windows to kitchens bathrooms and bedrooms all open up into one acoustically appealing space for everyone to hear, whether that is an intense phone conversation or a concert in the shower happening two stories up. 

                I think this is a good way to open up our, or at least my, comfort zone.  I am not one to share feelings, thoughts, or much of anything else.  This is a way that I feel I have opened up to my neighbors, and they to me, in a way that is kind of intimate, but also very innocent.  At the very least it was an eye-opener and a very funny story back home!

Cursing

In my three-months living in Sevilla, Spain I have noticed that many Spaniards have a very colorful vocabulary. Upon my arrival I quickly learned that the word “joder” can be heard in conversation almost as often as the word “vale.” Not only will you hear adults using curse words, but you can often hear them come out of the mouths of children and professors in the classroom! Many Spaniards seem to lack a filter when it comes to using curse words in formal, professional or everyday contexts. 

The use of curse words is much more of a taboo in the United States. If an individual were to use a curse word as frequently as Spaniards do, that person would be seen as uneducated or vulgar because they cannot seem to find a better word to use. Moreover, if a person were to swear in a professional or formal setting they would receive an adverse reaction from others. Although not all Americans would agree that swearing is so taboo, there is often an innate desire for curse words to be censored and avoided in certain contexts. 

Although many American students are taken aback by the colorful language of the Spaniards, it is admirable that they have the freedom to say whatever they want when they want to.

Spanish Youth vs. American Youth

In my three-month home stay in Seville, I have observed many interesting things about family dynamics and social norms. During my semester here, I have been living with a middle-age couple and their nineteen year-old daughter. In the household, the mother and father fully support the daughter financially, don’t require her to do household chores and allow her to do whatever she pleases. Over time, I learned that all of my friends staying with host families had similar experiences and it is common for young people to continue these practices until they get married or move-out of their parents’ house when they are in their mid to late twenties. 

Conversely, in America there is a pressure for young people to get a part-time job, help pay for college, and often support themselves from the age of eighteen, sometimes even younger. Many American parents have the expectation that their child will move out of the house once they attend or graduate from college.

Initially, I was very jealous of Spanish youth because it seemed as though they did not have to worry about any financial responsibilities or household duties. After discussing the cultural differences between American and Spanish family dynamics with my host father, I learned that although Spanish youth may seem spoiled or malcriado is because social and economic circumstances often prevent them from branching out. The poor economy, lack of job opportunities and strong familial ties all contribute to Spanish youth living at home much later than youth of other cultures. 

Although there are many differences in family dynamics between Spanish and American cultures, it is simply not possible to compare the two societies. The differences in upbringings create individuals with distinct experiences, values and beliefs which ultimately make each culture unique. 

Gun control, by Danielle Curry

The topic of gun control is one of the more meaningful differences between Spain and the US. We know guns are legal, and often easily accessible, in the US while gun ownership in Spain is restrictive and not a right.[1] However, we may not know just how prevalent gun violence is in the US compared to other “rich western countries,” as visualized in the graph below.[2]

Having been asked to comment on this topic, I didn’t know where to start. Gun control can be a heated one, especially in conservative hometowns like mine, so I’ve really avoided it all together. In my research, I found visualizations like the one above, showing us just how far away the US is in gun violence from our peers. It’s seems like a joke. I then think of the mass shootings we hear about over the years, carried out even by high school students. Many factors go into these shootings, but often it seems the mere availability of guns to the shooters is what facilitates and enables their actions.

If guns are so dangerous to have around the house[3], why do so many Americans cling to them? I wanted to understand what it’s like to be a steadfast defender of the 2^nd Amendment. Looking into the average gun defender’s mind, I see that protection, recreation, and social-cultural pressures are their strongest motives, conscious of it or not.[4] For those who want easy gun access, shooting is simply fun. In addition, it allows the user to feel strong, and masculine, and integrated in their local or regional culture. I believe both of these reasons are completely unacceptable for use in the gun control debate, when we keep in mind the accidental and intentional harm currently resulting from guns. Reading about these reminds me of my own friends from home who have mentioned their gun control views, which I didn’t consider before.

Instead, I am concerned with the gun advocate’s perception of safety.  It’s ironic how here I argue that gun restriction will make us safer, and gun advocates firmly believe the exact opposite. They seem to perceive a world in which the only person who can surely protect you and your family is yourself, not any government or police.  Either way, we are not safe, but what we can do to make both sides see the same picture of a safe country, state, town?

I’ve heard dads of friends talking about their guns in the garage much like their car or boat – a shiny toy to be proud of. I’ve also watched a male family member, who was intentionally shot, in turn purchase his own gun for future protection. Maybe if the unstable person who shot him hadn’t had a gun around in the first place, it would have never happened. Maybe it wouldn’t have advanced the cycle of perceived need for gun ownership.

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[1] https://www.loc.gov/law/help/firearms-control/spain.php

[2] http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/14/upshot/compare-these-gun-death-rates-the-us-is-in-a-different-world.html?_r=0

[3] https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psych-unseen/201510/the-psychology-guns

[4] https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2015/oct/07/gun-demanding-control-firearms-psychology

Homeless in Sevilla

I grew up in Los Angeles, where there is a large population of homeless, but also a growing amount of resources for this group. I have had a lot of experience interacting with homeless in the States as my family and I annually participate in an organization which packs duffle bags of survival goods and hand-delivers them to the homeless. In addition, experience is inevitable because the homeless, especially in Santa Monica, are very interactive, many with mental illnesses and have no fear screaming at you, getting in your face, even touching you. Only a few months ago, a homeless man fatally stabbed a woman outside a Starbucks a few blocks from my home. I found that the homeless in Seville are also interactive but they are not as physically and verbally aggressive, and their begging-tactics differ. Many try to sell small items such as tissues or rosemary/herbs. I have also seen that there are less incidences of substance abuse with the homeless in Sevilla than in the States- I distinctly recall one instance in LA when a homeless person knocked on my door, begging, and my mom made him an elaborate lunch whilst he waited outside. Upon receiving it, he said “actually, I really just want a beer.” I feel this would not have been a reaction among the Sevillan homeless. One striking difference between the homeless here and in the US is their presence in restaurants and other establishments. In the states, homeless rarely enter restaurants and cafés to beg, and are immediately kicked out upon doing so. In Sevilla, I have found that the homeless enter and beg in hotels, restaurants, and cafes often without being kicked out. Just yesterday, I had an interesting experience in a nice coffee shop right by Puerta de Herez. I had a small glass pitcher of coffee with cup, and a homeless man went up to me with a plastic cup asking for some of my coffee. I said no, sorry, and went back to studying, but he stayed and proceeded to take my pitcher and pour my coffee in his cup. The entire cafe stared in shock as the owner yelled at him whilst he was in the act, with him protesting “why not? it’s not a big deal!” (in Spanish), and only leaving when the owner, who was female, began physically pushing him out of the cafe. This interaction really got me thinking about homeless here and how rates differ from the US and how their resources may differ.

My time here in Spain is almost over

I honestly cannot believe that my time here in Spain is almost over. Yes, I am so excited to go back home to see my family and celebrate the holidays with them. But I am also sad to leave this place that I made my home for a short four months. Abroad was an experience for me that was once of a lifetime. My goal for abroad was to see as much as possible, and I really believe I met that goal. In these months I traveled to almost ten different countries while seeing different parts of Spain. School was something that I did not focus as much on. I know I was “studying” abroad but I felt that I could learn more with the more I experienced. I loved every experience that I encountered and I want to thank all my family, my friends in Seville, my host family and Europe for making all of this possible.

As sad as it is to leave, I am so excited to go back to the United States. I am excited to know the language, because I am so bad at Spanish. I am excited to see my family and celebrate the holidays and tell them about my experience. I am excited to eat my mom’s home cooked meals and have more vegetables and fruits. I’m just really excited to get back to my normal life because my time here abroad, has really been a dream.

Spanish and American eating customs

In American culture breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day, but in Spain, breakfast is the least important. Many Spaniards skip breakfast, but if they do have breakfast it will be something small. It usually consists of a tostada and a cup of coffee or freshly squeezed zumo. In American, our breakfast portions are a lot bigger. There are restaurants that are known for their “traditional” American breakfasts, which include lots of eggs, a side of more protein (bacon, sausage, ham), hash browns, cheese and a stack of pancakes or french toast. In Spain lunch is the most important meal of the day. It consists of several courses starting with soup, followed by something heavier like paella or meat, then desert and bread is always on the table. Lunch is a social event that takes up a lot of time and may be followed by a siesta. In America, lunch is usually on the go. We have fast food and drive-thru’s even in coffee shops that cater to our faster paced lifestyles. Spaniards also have dinner a lot later than Americans do. This could be because Spain is a collectivistic culture, and a later dinner could be so that all the family members are home to eat together. Based on my experiences, a lot of American families don't have a set dinner time or even sit down for dinner together. 

Drinking in Sevilla

I’ve noticed that in Spain drinking is a social thing. It seems that Spanish people are always drinking, but drinking in Spain is to socialize, not to get drunk. Spaniards often meet at bars to talk with friends and family and drink less over a longer period of time. They get "happier", feel more relaxed, and may get tipsy if they take it too far. They try to avoid getting drunk, since it is looked frowned on in the culture. In America, the goal is to get drunk fast. It usually starts with “pregaming” with your friends at home before moving to bar or club where you’ll continue to drink. Americans encourage each other to drink more and more until they blackout and wake up the next day without any memory of how they ended up back home. You don't have to drink like its a competition to have fun. Spaniards do enjoy going out and having a drink, but during my whole time in Sevilla I can’t remember a single time I saw a Spaniard stumbling around drunk and making a scene on the street. As for Americans, there are countless times

The Pace of Life in Sevilla, by Maxine Sachar

            One thing that I have really come to appreciate about Sevilla throughout my time here is the slowed down pace of life. I, personally, feel that, in America, life is “go go go” all the time. One example is that, in America, it is expected that the majority of people will go to school until they are eighteen, and then right after school they will move out of their house and go to college, and then right after college they will either go to grad school or get a job. This is the lifestyle I was brought into, and I have never second-guessed it. I have just assumed that that is how my life will play out because that is how it has for nearly everyone I grew up with. I have noticed that here in Spain it is different. In my homestay, my host parents have two sons, both my age, both in college, who still live at home. I have heard the same from the majority of other people who also live in homestays. From what I have gathered, it is much more common here in Spain for people my age to live at home while in college that in the United States. This is a big difference that I have noticed, and it ties into the pace of life here, because there are not in nearly as much of a rush to move out their houses than people are in the United States. I have also noticed the slower pace of life here in less significant observations. When I go out to eat at a restaurant with my host mom, we always stay there for at least two hours, continuing to talk while ordering more tapas and more drinks. When I am walking down the street, I very rarely see people carrying coffee or to-go cups with drinks in them. These things I have noticed are very different from the United States, where almost everybody takes their coffee to go, and usually when I eat at a restaurant with family and friends, we spend no more than an hour there. In general, I have noticed that, here in Spain, people take their time and they are not in such a rush when it comes to the smaller things such as eating and drinking coffee, and the more significant things such as moving out their houses to start their lives.

Smiling at strangers, by Shea Geary

As I entered Seville in early September with a bus full of American students our program director spoke with us about some cultural norms we may very soon become aware of. These norms included things such as eating times and wearing shoes in our homestay when were are not in our rooms which are two that seemed easy enough to adjust to, but then she began talking about some of the norms of body language we may face, especially in social settings such as at restaurants/bars. The director said that something she loves about our American culture is how much we smile, on the streets, at strangers, in our daily life overall, but she said we needed to be aware of how smiling can be interpreted differently in Spain because it is less common to smile at a stranger and we had to be careful to not give someone “the wrong idea.” This came as a huge surprise to me especially because I already knew Spanish culture was overall much more affectionate than American culture, I assumed smiling fell into that same category.  As I walked around Seville during my first weeks abroad I noticed a huge lack of people smiling at strangers. I may be an especially friendly person in that I will often smile at someone on the street even when I don't know them. Of course there is no right and wrong way to act around strangers, I simply have found that in Seville it is different, people are more likely to hug or kiss when they greet each rather than smile. This is a piece of culture they may be affecting me because it is clear that I am not Spanish, resulting in people being less friendly. This is an observation that myself and many of my peers have made and find to be a big difference from what we are used to experiencing at home. I also have noticed that not smiling doesn't mean someone feels negatively towards you, it just means they don’t feel strongly enough to smile. 

Hand-sanitizer

So I realized that people here are not as concerned with the daily germs we face through out the day as people are back in the United States. A good example I have is that I do not see a single person with the mini hand-sanitizers on their purses or book bags. That is something that is so common to see when you are out and about in the city, at least in my city of Boston. I was sitting at a bar with my sister and I had my hand-sanitizer hanging from my book bag. I went to use the bathroom and there was no soap for me to wash my hands so I went to my seat and used it right away. And to my surprise the man sitting next to me actually asked me what it was. He was very surprised when I told him what it was and he thought I had a phobia of germs because I carried it with me. But in reality I do not carry it because I have a phobia but because it is just common to have one back home. That little encounter made me think twice about owning it afterwards to be honest. If a whole other group of people can live with out it then I should be able to too I guess.