¿no das los gracias? by Caelan Spencer

I think that biggest difference I have noticed from my three months in Spain has been the directness of people when they talk and how little please and thank you is said. I have heard plenty of conversation in Spanish when translated to English sound very forceful and may be considered angry, such as “dame dos cervezas,” which directly translates is “give me two beers,” and this is rarely followed by a please. Where as in the United States we frequently say, “may I please have…” or “Could I get…” and then when it is brought to you, you generally will say thank you to the waiter or waitress. Thanking people is very different here in Spain, and I’m often given strange looks or the person I’m talking to will immediately switch to English when I say “gracias” for something. I still haven’t exactly figured out when to say thanks and when not to, because in the United States we say thank you for so many mundane things it feels impolite not to say it here. I think I have learned that the majority of English statements are passive, almost always asking if it’s possible that something can be done. Yet the Spanish I’ve learned and heard here is much more direct, almost like a command like this is what I want so bring it to me. An example of this is when I take the metro every morning to class, when the metro is full people will just say “paso paso” whereas generally in the United States people will say “Could I pass through here” or something along those lines. The passiveness of English has definitely made me stick out more when talking in Spanish, where some of my Spanish friends who I have met here have said “the way you speak Spanish is so strange.” I wonder why Americans are so passive in our conversations, while Spaniards are so direct. Is it just a cultural value that is different? What causes a language to be more direct vs passive?